Why Do I Have To Be So Doggone Timid!

Yeah. That's what I feel like: a soggy wet dog. A soggy, wet, timid dog. Come on, how many perfect opportunities does a person get in a lifetime? If I weren't such a coward I could make the most of all those opportunities! I've run out of fingers to count how many times I have blown it. It being my chance to talk to Mr. P. I had like, one excellent opportunity this afternoon at work, one yesterday morning at work, like three chances the week of Christmas at various times of the day, all in the mock-up room. Sometimes I get so frustrated at myself that I feel like yanking on my hair. Can God just show me a crystal ball that has a picture of my future family in it? That would make it easier...or maybe not... I confess, I'm completely dim-headed when it comes around to anything related with me wanting to be more than "just friends" with a guy. I've never wanted to do that before. Oh tellers of wisdom, or rather, advisors, please pass on the expertise!
Maybe I should take a lesson from the Phantom of the Opera.

Step 1: Find a mysterious costume.
Step 2: Hide out in various locations at Tyndale.
Step 3: acquire detailed information on the subject; or get spies. Spies are good. Then I don't have to be everywhere at once.
Step 4: Find the subject's most favorite pastime, hobby, or interest. Get better than them in it, and "school them" on how to do it better so that I become "the Angel of ________" (fill in the blank).
Step 5: At the appropriate time, kidnap the subject.
Step 6: Get killed by an angry mob... or be forced to live my life in seclusion...

Maybe that's not such a good idea. The Phantom might have been timid, but his plan was bad. Plan B:
Find someone on missions team #2 and create a scheduling conflict for them. Invite them to the president's house or something. Then, sacrificially give up my spot in Team #1 to let that person have it, and then take that person's spot on Team #2. Mission accomplished. Then I'll spend one week being a timid dog and missing the Third Day/ David Crowder Band concert to boot. Maybe that's not so hot either.

Plan C (this is it!!!)
1. Pray
2. Pray
3. Pray (for courage especially)
4. Get bold (ask subject a question they can't evade when passing in the hall or meeting in the mock-up room. Punish myself if I don't. No ice cream for 2 months!)
5. Get super bold (get spy to find out if girl at the banquet was a "special friend" or just someone [please be the latter])
- If the girl turns out to be a "special friend", break down in sadness, cry and get it all out. If not, throw a party and carry out the rest of the plan!! -
6. Bring the Lady Fair to work and have her ask him the question that I dreamed she asked him. Way to go Lady Fair!
7. Pray again
8. Act normal, don't pull into my shell.
9. Take advantage of every opportunity
10. Pray some more

Can someone else just do this for me? I'm feeling chicken. buck bwauk buck bwauk!
This whole business is complicated. I think courtship was set up to weed out the chickens from the rest. I don't want to be a chicken! I don't want to be weeded out! Especially when someone check off so many items on the "potential husband material" list. I try so hard not to set my heart on things, but like I said, it's hard, and where do you find decent people these days? Especially ones who remind you so much of your own brother! If I could marry someone like Anonymous 342, I'd be set for life! (Lucky Lady Fair) Oh, I'm so in a quandary, and I had to spill it all out, my journal couldn't satiate this.
All comments of wisdom are welcome. Please click "comments" and leave me a morsel of courage.

I'd better post this now before I chicken out of it too!

Me, a Missionary?

I just found out that I am going on a Tyndale-sponsored missions trip at the end of February! I turned in my application a couple of weeks ago, and today I saw that I was going. I will be traveling to Biloxi Mississippi to help the elderly and the poor sort through and clean up their homes from Katrina. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll keep everyone updated as I get more information. So far, all I know is that I am going, and I'm going to be housed at the United Methodist Seaside Camp. In a twist of events that I don't understand but God does, Mr. P is going on the trip as well, but he is in team 2, and I am in team 1. Team 2 leaves for the same destination the day after team 1 gets back. I won't say I've been foiled again, because it was never my plan to be foiled in. Maybe someone will have to switch weeks and certain people will get moved to other teams to accommodate their schedule! But since matchmaking is not the reason that I'm going on this trip, I will try to be content. After all, look at all that Lizzie had to go through to finally marry Mr. Darcy!
Speaking of Mr. Darcy, I would like to say hello to Miriam who checked in on my blog. Hi Miriam! Yes, you do have to see Pride & Prejudice! It's so good! (I'm listening to the soundtrack right now, and it simply inspiring!) By the way, I'm drawing a picture of you from last year's recitation. I hope you don't mind that. I'll get you a copy when I'm done...whenever that may be.
And lastly, I would like to take a moment to remember my dear gecko, Stitch. In an emotional moment, Stitch decided that he did not want to live at home anymore. He ran away with nothing but the glass-clinging capabilities that he has to a place totally devoid of glass, believing, on a falsehood, that life under the bathroom cabinets and in the walls of the building in which I live would be glorious and better than anything I had ever provided him with. Without so much as a backward glance, he took off into the unknown, and I have yet to hear from him. Stitch has turned his back on everything he has known, choosing instead to live a wild and reckless life. Where he is now living, darkness reigns, and the light is banished. Doesn't he know that he needs the light to live? His very being depends upon it! Day after day, I stand upon the bathroom threshold and look for him to come crawling out of the depraved area where he has been residing. When (if) I see him coming, I shall kill the fattened cricket and throw a party for him, for my gecko that was dead to me will have returned.

Merry Christmas! Not Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas! None of that vague happy "holiday" junk. What? Is someone afraid that I'll be offended if they wish me Merry Christmas? Hah! Bah humbug you "politically correct" fiends! Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, and merry Christmas to you too.

Yes, Christmas is upon us. Alas, I was farther behind in my shopping than ever this year, but that's all right, I've had a lot going on! This is the time of year when Tyndale becomes a ghost-town. Everybody's off enjoying the...Christmas season. (If you thought I was going to say holidays, you were incorrect). So yeah, I'll be at work, maybe one or two other people will be there. Yep, that's about it. I don't think we'll be having a green Christmas this year. After all, it's not yet winter and we already have had snow. Actually, several of them. That's alright, I like snow. What I don't like are blistering winds! Cold, freezing, bone-chilling winds. The kind that sweep across the midwestern plains in January. But for now it's Christmastime.

Well, I'll be signing off now. Thanks for reading my blog, and have a very merry Christmas. I've got to go do some stuff so that I'll be ready to go watch King Kong. Bye!

Wait... I'm back. I feel like I should write just a little more to make reading this worth your while! Oh! I could write this: Remember in Pride & Prejudice when Mr. Bennet tells Lizzy that every girl "likes to be crossed in love" now and then? Well, he was wrong!

My Week as a Super House-Wife in Training

Yes... That's me, the Super House-Wife in Training!

Yeah right, who am I trying to kid?

Back to reality. It was a crash-course training week in house-wifely duties. Part 2 of a two part training session. Let's have a brief recap:

Monday, Day 1
I take the boys to work with me. They enjoy it, surprisingly! They look around every corner, into every cubicle they pass by, longing for a view at the elusive Mr. P. Lucky them, they got one, and I don't think that they totally blew my cover. He even introduced himself to them. How nice! Now that they've seen him in person, maybe they understand why he's "bewitched me, body and soul", although I tend to believe that he would make a better Mr. Darcy. Ahem. Back to the task at hand. Dinner was provided that night by a kind soul from church. We had Tots with our dinner. "Hey, are you gonna eat your Tots?" Yes, actually we did. We ate every last one. Thanks Napoleon. Then on to choir. After wards I bought the boys ice cream at Culvers because they were good at work and they didn't blow my cover to Mr. P.

Tuesday, Day 2
Rough day really. A co-worker at Tyndale died form melanoma on Thanksgiving and this was the day of her memorial service. Difficult because of 2 reasons: 1) She was my co-worker, and it's hard to watch them suffer their illness 2) She had the same kind of cancer Dad does. Follow my mind if you will. Do you see me imagining the funeral being for someone else much closer to me? If you did, then you saw what my mind did to me at the end. I came home rather a mess, and as Anonymous had to go to school that night, he called the Lady Fair to come and spend the evening with me. How kind and thoughtful of him, foreseeing my need. As you can gather, I only did the bare minimum of house-wifely duties that night, and after the Lady Fair comforted me in the absence of my own dear mother, we watched the Phantom of the Opera (is here, inside my mind) I went to bed feeling emotionally wrung out. Oh yes, dinner was provided again, but I won't complain about it being lasagna. (Although I might call it lagagsa)

Wednesday, Day 3
I've been ambushed! The common cold set a trap for me and caught me, or rather, I caught it! As the day goes on I begin to feel like I stayed up 24 hours in a row, not so, but I felt weary. The day itself went good though. Again, I was spared cooking, we had dinner at the house of Lady Fair and her family. The boys were at Bible study, so while we waited for them, we watched part of Willy Wonka. I was so cold. When we got home, I went straight to bed.

Thursday, Day 4
Gasp! I forgot to make my lunch! Or wait, no, that was yesterday. Whew! Let me sleep for 5 more minutes. La la la la la. Take shower, lolligag at picking out clothes, open shade... Oh my gosh! Snow! It's going to take 10 billion years to get to work! Hustle bustle, hurry hurry! Thank goodness for automatic car starters, I can begin to thaw out Mr. Prix while I'm still getting ready. Leave house, drive on slick road. Reach Rt. 53. Oh...my...word. Did people forget how to drive in the snow? Hello? This road is clear, so why are you gridlocked? 8:15 am. Reach work thanks to an alternate route. Chapel already started, so I have to stand in the back, clearly marking my tardiness. But I am not alone. Mr. P was tardy too. I get home late this day because I have to stay 15 minute extra to make up for tardiness. It feels like detention. I hurry home, no word on dinner. Messiah practice is drawing nigh, oh well, can't wait anymore, I'll cook dinner!! Dat ta daa! The first task of the house-wife: Cook grub! Mmmmm, it was good. The other dinner did come eventually, we still have it in the fridge, it was lasagna again, this time with spinach, a slight variation. We go to Messiah, it being the last regular practice, it goes longer than normal, my big list of things to accomplish goes unchecked, undone. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll still have it, tomorrow, it's only a daaaay a-waaay!

Friday, Day 5
I'm a poor little orphan. Actually, sticking with the house-wifely theme, maybe I'm nearing empty-nester. Imagine, I'm the mom. All my little boys have gone off into the great big world and left me a lone with the cat. No matter, I can check all those items off my list! But first; music! I need some. I ingeniously figure out how to connect my iPod to my computer speakers (detached from computer Geefe of course) and make the iPod play through them instead of the headphones. This does not go without thanks to the adaptor that I had to buy a while ago to connect the speakers to the computer. So I bring the whole kit and caboodle down to the kitchen and put iPod on shuffle. Begin work. Item #1, kitchen: Gasp, what a mess! Brothers don't really understand how to clean (or keep clean) a kitchen. I spend a lot of time here. Dinner comes, I eat it by myself. There were oatmeal raisin cookies too! (I had 4, don't tell anyone, and don't remind me of touch it to your lips, goes straight to your hips!) Then, I did another house wifely thing: I made scones for breakfast tomorrow, and on top of that, I experimented with the ingredients! I put in lingonberry sauce instead of dried cranberries. I'll see what it tastes like tomorrow. I hope they're good! Item #2, make mom and dad's bed. Who's been sleeping in it? They've been staying at their downtown suite with round the clock room service where the bellboys and clerks and maids all wear scrubs! Item #3, cat litter. Let's just say, I shouldn't have left it unchecked for the better part of a week, mistake. Minus 5 points for that, although I do that even when I don't have any house-wifely duties on top of the full-time job. Between jobs, I take some time out to waltz around the kitchen to my music with my kitty as my dance partner. I hope the neighbors didn't see.

So in conclusion, now you know why I haven't updated my blog in a week. I've been practicing house-wifely duties. Watch out for when I'm a real one! I'll hopefully have things a little more under control. Although I thought I did pretty good. Ma has NEVER left us children all alone to our selves in our ENTIRE lives for this long before. A+ for me!

Update:
Saturday, Day 6
Due to ... complications, my on the spot training of house-wifery continues. And so does the common cold that attacked me earlier this week. Um, yeah, I'm supposed to be singing in the Messiah tomorrow, but as of right now, my most powerful voice is this blog. Not good. My blog can't sing the hallelujah chorus, can it? For my duties today, I did all the laundry, and folded it. I don't think I'll get to put it away, or sort it out, but that's okay, it usually takes Mom 2 days to get all the laundry finished, and she's a pro! Hopefully she'll be pleasantly surprised upon her return home to see all the work she thought that she would have to do is already done. And I even had time to spend on my artistic endeavors. Maybe soon you'll be able to see some of my more recent works. I also just finished watching Love's Long Journey with Lady Fair. It was good. There was a beeg stvrong Norvegian man in the movie, and Lady Fair was making fun of me! She has this way of laughing at you that you almost don't realize she's doing it! Some fair lady! She looks at you, with a sort of squinty look, and snickers, and then snorts, and then laughs her head off! Okay, so maybe you do know that she's laughing at you. I guess it is kind of obvious. I love her for it though. The "Beeg stvong Norvegian man" needed "daaker hair though, jah" Anyway, I need to go fold some more laundry to complete my house-wifely tasks for the day. Until later,
-Lizzie

A time of Thanksgiving

Pretend with me, if you will, that this quarter pounder is really a cornocopia of food at a Thanksgiving spread. There. Doesn't that look tasty?

Today I want to take time to count my blessings, but I think I'll have to cut it short. To count my blessing, I would have to go on forever. I won't actually count them though, I shall just name them.

I am thankful first and foremost for my relationship with God, that He has given me salvation, and that He has control of my life, for Bibles and prayer and for study of God's Word. I am thankful for my family, for the friends whom God has bestowed upon me, for the situations in my life that draw me closer to Him. I am grateful that my family all trusts in God, I am grateful for my job, for my church, for a house to live in. I'm thankful for Mr. P, for books that are great delights to read, for movies that make us laugh, For companionship, for comradery, and for brotherly love. I am thankful for a warm bed, for a soft cat with tickly whiskers, for geckos who lick their eyes, and for betas in aquariums at work. I'm thankful for technology, for the means to take part in that technology, and for the ammenities to take a shower everyday. I'm thankful for my artistic talents, my sense of humor, my strange hair, and generally for the person that both God and my parents have made me to be. I'm thankful for all the sacrifices that my parents have made for me, for the times they spent on their knees in prayer for me, for the fact that I'm alive today. I am thankful for the provision of a new car, for music that touches and expresses the soul, for the brilliant array of colors and hues and tints. For the feel of cloth, for the texture of everything, and for the ingenuity of our minds to create things from cloth, wood, metal, and paper. I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to teach little children about God's love, and for voices to sing and glorify Him. I'm thankful for the ability to read, to write, to think, to dream, and to reflect on what I have learned. For the chances to love those around me, for friends who can help me out of sticky situations, for advanced medical care, and for the means to afford it. For the computer I am typing on, for the sweet smells that I am smelling, for frozen salad, for an extended family, for grandparents, and for times of laughter. I'm grateful for the little girl in Nicaragua who is impacting my life, and for the creation of pencils, and erasers. I'm grateful for the chance that I have of sharing this with you. I'm thankful for chocolate, for birthdays, for fruit, and for the dinner on the table. I'm thankful for ice cream, for traditions, for heritage, and for this country. I'm thankful for summer, for winter, for springtime, and fall. For the buds on the trees, the leaves on the trees, and the fallen ones down below. For flowers, for flora and fauna, for insects and spiders and little feathered birds. For freshly baked bread, and apple crisp that is warm, for hot cocoa and popcorn and tall glasses of orange juice. I'm thankful for IKEA and for JoAnn's, for John's and for Old Navy and Gap, for resourses to spend there, and for a Ma who now loves to shop. For seat warmers in cars, and ice scrapers and gasoline. I'm thankful for Jane Austin and all my other favorite authors. For bands that rock out, and mock-up rooms and exacto knives and rulers and light tables, for double-sided tape, and spray booths and iPods, and I'm thankful for younger brothers, and heckling, and Kline Creek Farm, for historical costumes and sewing machines and patterns, for pait and paintbrushes, for bristol board and Sharpies, but I could go on forever, and I need to make apple crisp for dinner. For all of this and so much more I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving
-love, Lizzie Bennett

Pride & Prejudice Forever

Hello! Aren't I in a fair way of updating my blog everyday? I'll have to stop that, or else everyone will come to expect it! Oh! Today was a most glorious day! If only words could describe! I have undone what I did yesterday, and THAT does not happen every day, now does it? I had a second chance with Mr. P, and I almost bypassed it again, until my small inner brave self urged me on to not have a repeat of yesterday. I was practically singing when it was all over... in fact, I think I was! It was "And the Glory of the Lord", by George Frederich Handel, and then I got a papercut. Ouch! But even that couldn't bring me back to solid terrain!

And I just finished watching the BBC production of Pride & Prejudice. I think that for the whole last half hour of that movie I can't stop smiling. As Anne Shirley would say "Oh, it's so romantic!" And I was reading the book too during lunch, I'm at the part where the Bennets discover that Mr. Bingley is returning to Netherfield to go shooting (and to get himself a wife!). It was, needless to say, a very relaxing lunch, and I couldn't help but wish that my lunch break was two hours instead of one. And tomorrow, I will be going to watch the new Pride & Prejudice (for the second time) with Lady Fair and World Denominator. With ice cream afterwards! Oh, it will be delightful! You know, I can't help it when I'm reading Pride & Prejudice to imagine myself as Lizzie (hence the blog name), and Mr Darcy is none other than... well, you get the picture. *sigh*

Okay, enough of this silliness. I also found a sponsor for Rosita, and it only took one day! I thought it would be a lot harder, but I sent out the e-mail, and ten minutes later, someone was asking after her. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I did ask God to help me find one. And that's not the only thing I've been talking with God about, but we'll leave that for another day.

And Lady Fair! Stop announcing false engagements all over blog-dom! You're giving people false hopes!

P.S.-I was wearing one of my new lotions today, I believe it was Pearberry, and as I was standing in the cafeteria microwaving my pizza, some guy from the warehouse came over to use the other microwave. He's standing there looking at me, and I just watch my pizza with renewed interest. Oh! Look at how the cheese bubbles! Still staring at me...then, "what kind of perfume are you wearing?"
'Um, I'm not wearing perfume"
"Well is it something else?"
"I guess it could be my hand lotion"
"Smells like strawberries (eeek! Pearberry has strawberry smell in it!) "It smells good"
"Uh, thanks?" (Beware when you go to Bath and Body and buy lotions at half off prices! You could attract the attentions of people that you don't want to!)
And that is Lizzie Bennett's good advice for the day. After all, as Lord Goring says, "The only good thing to do with advice is to pass it on"

Meet Rosita, smell this, and hear my woes

Hi again. This little girl is Rosita Germania Fureroz Matos. This Christmas season, I'm going to find a sponsor for her. Here is my gameplan. I'm going to send out an e-mail to my department at work, and I'm going to have a picture of her in my cube. Of course, you can already see that she's on my blog. If nobody turns up for the job at work, I'll proceed to church and...my friends. I don't want to put pressure on everyone though. Most people who are reading this are still in college...I think. I also intend to send an e-mail about her to Mr. P, along with the rest of my department. She's cute, isn't she? Rosita hails from the Dominican Republic, and she's five years old. Hopefully I'll find someone to sponsor her.

Next item of the day. I went to Bath & Body today, and I confess, I bought *cough* eleven bottles of lotion. And not one duplicate smell either. Amazing, isn't it? Let's see, there's Cotton Blossom, Plumeria, Peony, Cherry Blossom, Moonlight Path, Juniper Breeze, Sweet Pea, Gardenia, Black Raspberry Vanilla, Pearberry, and Sheer Freesia. That ought to last me for a little while, don't you think?

As the final entry for this time, I must tell about how much I lack courage, especially when it comes to really important things. My story is similar to the man who was stranded on his rooftop in a flood, and he prayed that God would rescue him. Three boats come by and ask if he needs a lift, but he says no, God's going to save him. Then he drowns and when he gets to Heaven, he asks God why He didn't save him, and God tells him that He sent three boats. Well, that's kind of what happened to me, except with out the flood.
I've been praying for an opportunity to talk to Mr. P, and it came today. He was in the mock-up room and I walked in, said hi, and didn't say anything else for the whole two minutes that we were both there together. As Mrs. Bennet would say, "Oohhh! I've been having spasms and flutters all over me! Well, that's how I was for those two minutes. But, I'm done chasing my mind in circles about that. Instead, I've decided that I need a badge of courage to remind me not to be so shy. Like in that book, the Red Badge of Courage, only I think the red badge of courage in that book was a bloody wound. Maybe I don't want that kind.

Good day to you, and I shall be eagerly waiting to read your comments.
-Lizzie

I've hopped aboard the bandwagon

Upon much thought and by popular demand, I have created a blog. *Gasp* I have "hopped the bandwagon" so to speak. I have no clue what I am to write about. I spent too much time deliberating over a name for my blog to spend much time doing that.

At this time, I would like to thank my beneficiaries who have encouraged me, bantered me, and insisted most pressingly that I create a blog. Lady Fair and Anonymous 342, this goes out to you. ( Anonymous 342, please note that you did not "insist most pressingly" on me. That would be Lady Fair's doing, but then, you can't blame her for anything.)

Additionally, I would like to explain what I think my blog will be about. Certainly you (the reader) have noticed that the title of this blog is "The Musings of a Lizzie" That would be Miss Elizabeth Bennett from one of my favorite books, Pride & Prejudice. Seeing how I view myself as a person a lot like Lizzie and how most blogs consist of musings, well, you get the picture. It'll basically be ramblings and thrilling stories (but they won't be anything compared to yours, Anonymous, they'll be more like Anne's) and lamented woes. Our society needs more laments. As long as it's not complaining thinly veiled as a lament. I despise complaining. It is the annoying piece of grissle that always finds it's way into the center of you delicious cut of chicken.

And now...release the dogs of comments (not war).

As Kip would say: Peace out!